MEMORIES OF BIG JOHN

John came into my life at a typically difficult time. My parents had recently divorced, my sisters (being older) were entering a new, rebellious stage, and I was about to become a teenager. With all that weighing on my mind, in walked this tall man whose presence was anything but overbearing. ‘Big John’ not only described him physically, but in every other way as well. His laugh, his intellect, his heart, everything about him was larger than life. Everything but his ‘intrusion’ into a new family. He subtly and quickly became a very important part of my youth. He loved life and lived it to its fullest extent and that is the best lesson I learned from him.
My memories read like a laundry list of music, fun, and travel.
I can remember going to numerous bluegrass festivals. Initially, I didn’t want to go because I thought it was like country music which was full of tragic love stories and loss. I quickly found that it mirrored John’s upbeat attitude and found myself dancing and singing along with him. We also would go to square dancing nights at People’s Church. A typical teen would have found this uncool; however, I knew that it would be loads of fun.
One of his favorite tv series was M.A.S.H. I can remember a t-shirt he had that quoted Col. Potter: “the general answers his own phone, must be a Unitarian.” In fact, most of my memories of John include him laughing at some point. Watching M.A.S.H.; going to Le Bijou theater downtown and watching Monty Python films; spending hours at the dinner table with his kids sharing jokes. I can still hear that warm, addictive laugh.
My best memories are of the places I went with him. They weren’t far-off journeys to exotic lands, but that wasn’t what mattered. John’s presence was what made things fun. Listening to Harry Chapin on the drive up to the cabin on Lake Michigan; walking down the beach; watching him stoop as he walked through Taliesin East. I wouldn’t have traveled in the VW minibus with anyone else, if for no other reason than it needed an accomplished mechanic. John was great at finding Petoskey stones dry, which is quite a feat.
I will always feel fortunate for the time I spent with him. Our paths may have drifted different ways, but I cherish these memories and always will. He and my mother divorced when I started college, but he has always been and will always be my step-father, my friend:

Big John